A few Funnies

My 10 year old son came back from a party with a Pixie Lott balloon

I nearly pissed my pants laughing when he said he wanted to bang her.
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Two thieves break into a bank in the middle of the night and open a safe. There is only some yogurt, but no money. They taste the yogurt. It's tainted.

The men open the next safe. There is some yogurt too, it tastes much better but again - no money.

The thieves take on another safe. And there's yogurt again.

"John, why don't you go outside and look if it is indeed a bank!" says one to the other, and sits down to eat the yogurt which tastes really fresh and nutritious this time.

A couple of minutes later in comes John.

"It is definitely a bank!"

"What exactly did the sign say?"

"The Sperm Bank of Ohio!""
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My son was sent home from school for swearing today.
I said what did u say?
He said the c word.
I said it wasn't clever, was it?
He said no, it was cunt.